It’s exciting, wonderful and a really very special moment when you realise you love someone, and that love means you want to be married to them for the rest of your life. Matrimony is a sacrament, in the same way as baptism or confirmation, and as the catechism tells us ‘it gives spouses the grace to love each other with the love with which Christ has loved his Church; the grace of the sacrament thus perfects the human love of the spouses, and strengthens their indissoluble unity.’ At the sacrament of matrimony, when you come to celebrate your marriage in church, it’s a joyful day when in front of your family and friends, you make a life-long commitment to each other and receive the grace of the sacrament as you begin your life together.
Marriage is a particular way of living out God’s call to everyone rooted in Baptism: the call to follow Christ, living a loving and holy life in the service of others. Marriage remains an exciting calling for the majority of young people – to make a difference in the world together through a vowed, life-long, faithful, and loving commitment as husband and wife, and to play their part in being fruitful, sustaining that precious human environment as the vital cell of society. Marriage is a beautiful vocation.
How do I receive this sacrament?
Once you get engaged things start to get busy! It's easy to get caught up in the arrangements, the venue, the menu, the colours for the day and everything that you want to make the day special for you, but ideally, we need six months’ notice to get everything in place in good time. Bottom line is come and see us early if you are thinking of getting married at St Aldhelm’s and we can talk you through the process and identify a suitable date together; the first step is to give us a call (01666 822195) or drop us an email (malmesbury.staldhelm@cliftondiocese.com) and we can talk you through the process.
We will arrange to meet you both together and learn more about you, explain the process, paperwork and next steps. As you prepare for your wedding, we’ll spend some time with you making sure you understand everything and that you’re comfortable and clear on what you’re undertaking. It is a relaxed and straightforward process which greatly enhances the preparation for your life together. We also use an online preparatory course for engaged couples called Smart Loving (https://smartloving.org/engaged/) which helps you explore what you really think and feel about key questions in your life and about your spouse to be. It’s a programme that has been praised as being simple to use and clear in approach, but really makes you think deeply about what it means to be married, and explore what you’re both expecting for the future. It’s something to be enjoyed rather than endured, and we can explain more when we get together.
Forms of Marriage Service
One thing you will want to decide relatively early on in the process is the form of service which essentially means do you want a Mass to be celebrated or not? All the forms of service are full Catholic marriage liturgies, and the choice of service will usually depend on who is getting married and the ability to participate in the liturgy and in particular to receive Holy Communion. You will naturally want the day to include everyone and we can talk you through the options when we are together.
Irrespective of which form of service you choose, it begins with the welcome of the bride and groom and the introduction to the liturgy. This is followed by readings from scripture which speak of marriage and God’s love for us. The liturgy of marriage follows where, after answering a series of question about their understanding of marriage and their freedom to marry, the couple exchange their consent. The rings are then blessed and exchanged. There are then prayers for the newly married couple and for all who are married. The next common element is the nuptial blessing where the couple are prayed for and their future life together blessed. After the liturgy the civil registers are signed.
Both Father Thomas and Deacon Steve are appointed as civil registrars, so we register your marriage in the church and complete the civil formalities on the day. The one thing you must do yourselves in advance, and which we cannot do for you, is give notice to marry to your local registrar. Once registered, not less than a month before the wedding, you will each be given an authorisation form, without which we cannot conduct the ceremony. We’ll talk through this aspect when you come to see us.
It’s wonderful that you are considering celebrating your marriage at St Aldhelm’s – Matrimony is a wonderful sacrament that bestows many graces on the couple who marry but also the friends, family and community around them. Come and have a chat and we can explain everything to you both.